Publication Announcement

My first novel, a retelling of "Prince Lindworm," will be released next month! Stay tuned for more information, and if you want to hear it faster, consider supporting me on Patreon!

 

How to Support Indie Authors When You Can’t Afford to Buy Their Books

1. Share/reblog/retweet their posts about their books.

2. Visit their websites—do this frequently, and refresh the website a few times while you’re there. This will help improve their website analytics and make it easier for more people to find them.

3. If you can borrow their books from a friend or library, do so, and write a review.

4. Ask your local library to order their books! They probably won’t order a book after just one request, but with a few from different people, they’ll at least consider it. And getting your book in a library makes it accessible to hundreds of people who otherwise might never have heard of you.

Health and Creativity

It’s been a while, and I’m here today to talk about mental health and creativity.

About a year and a half ago, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and obsessive compulsive disorder. And I was given new meds. And it was amazing. It still is. I feel real, and present, and human now, in a way I haven’t in a very long time. Maybe in a way I haven’t ever—certainly not since I was a small child, at least.

I love feeling this way. And it’s absolutely worth it.

A lot of people talk about how mental illness makes people great artists. A lot of other people talk about how that’s a load of crap, how pain isn’t the price we pay for a creative mind, how all the brilliant, mentally ill artists throughout history could have made even more, even better art if they weren’t held hostage by their own faulty brains.

Mostly I’m with that second group.

I don’t write well because I’m sick. My writing quality hasn’t gone down because I’m less sick now.

But here’s the thing: my writing quantity has. And whatever they tell you in school, quantity and quality are connected. The more things of any quality you produce, the better—we improve with experience, and the more things we make, total, the higher chance we have that some of them will be good.

I’ve found it harder to write since getting proper treatment. I still like to write. But I don’t need to anymore, and that makes all the difference.

I used to get trapped in my stories. It was terrifying, sometimes. A scene would play out in my head. And then it would play out again, and again, an endless loop for hours or days or weeks. And the only way to escape was to write it down.

I remember, once, in a ninth grade science class, a scene popped into my head where one of my characters died. And he kept dying, in the back of my head, dying and dying and dying, until I was crying over nothing in the middle of biology.

Apparently that’s a symptom of OCD. Obsessive thoughts. I used to have a lot of those.

The great tragedy of my imagination is that its contents can only exist in one place. I’ve spent most of my life struggling with a delicate balancing act. The real world is ugly, and hard, and I prefer my stories. But my stories will beat ceaselessly against my brain until they drive me mad. Or until I write them down.

The second the final word hits the page, there’s peace. The story is no longer trapped in my head, fighting to get out. It’s no longer in my head at all, and that world is no longer one I can escape to. I’m alone in my head again, and for a few hours, a few days, it’s great. And then it’s cripplingly lonely. And then a new story comes, and it all starts over. But that old story is something I can never have back, something that will never again feel any more Mine than any other story, by any other author.

I’m better now. The obsessive thoughts don’t come the way they used to. The stories are still there, but they’re not caught in a loop, and they’re not clamoring to get out. I can focus on other things, and pull them forward when I need them, when I’m ready for them.

I can keep them in my head, if I want to. I don’t have to scramble to write them down just for a moment of peace and quiet in my own mind. And that means a lot of my motivation to write is gone. It’s harder to find the time to write when I don’t need to. It’s hard to resist the temptation to just keep the stories inside, safe and close and Mine.

So I haven’t written much in the last year or so. And maybe, mostly, that’s a good thing. It’s because I’m better. It’s because I have the space inside my brain to breathe. But I miss writing things down. Miss sharing them with people. I’ll find my way back. I’ll find a new balance. I just don’t know how much longer it will take.

Be patient with me, please—my brain works in a whole new way, these days, and I’m still learning to navigate.

New Book!

So, it’s been a while. And I’m still not here to talk about fairy tales; sorry. I have a website now. www.jennyprater.com

And. I own a publishing company called Wax Heart Press (www.waxheartpress.com), which I’m using for self publishing right now, but I want to publish books for other people too, eventually.

 My new poetry book is out! Here’s the announcement from my press!

Small Scars is available today in print and for Kindle! There was a slight glitch with Barnes and Noble, but the Nook edition should be available within 72 hours.
While the print edition is available through most major retailers, we would encourage you to order directly from our website, as this will yield the highest profits for the author.
However, in light of COVID-19, we would recommend ordering the digital version at this time, as we do not know if the printer will choose or be required to shut down temporarily.

Wax Heart Press

It's been a while, and this isn't about fairy tales, but I officially own a publishing company! Wax Heart Press is currently selling three chapbooks.

thin is about eating disorders and recovery, Dear Somebody is about asexuality, and Lord is about faith. All are available starting tonight!

https://www.waxheartpress.com/

Announcement

Hello! As most of you know, I now own a small publishing company, Wax Heart Press, which will begin releasing books in 2020. This means some changes in my currently available books.

My current books are Goodbye and Other Words I Should Have Said, Avalanche: A Self Portrait in Verse, thin, Dear Somebody (print and digital), and And He Became a Handsome Prince (digital only).

As of today, all print book prices will be reduced by $1. This deal is valid through December 31, 2019. Beginning on January 1, 2020, all print books will no longer be available.. The digital versions will still be available. thin and Dear Somebody will be re-released in 2020. At this time, a date has not been set to re-release Avalanche and Goodbye; if you intend to purchase these books, I would recommend you do so in 2019.

https://www.jennyprater.com/

Update

Hey. It’s been a few weeks.

I’ve talked before about how Patreon doesn’t work well for me, and that continues to be an issue. I have a full time job, an energetic puppy, and a house that needs a lot of work done. It’s hard to make time for writing.

So when I do make time, it makes a lot more sense to work on my books than on random short pieces to post on Patreon. Every blog, every book review, every fairy tale analysis, represents time that could have been better spent doing something else.

I enjoy writing all of those things. But I used to write them as a break from my bigger projects. Now that I feel obligated to produce one a week, it seems like it’s all I ever have time to do. It’s not a fun break anymore; it’s just one more thing I have to cram into my schedule.

I thought at least weekly updates were something I could do consistently, but that’s not going well either. No matter how much work I get done in a week, it can be summarized in a sentence or two, and looking at those couple sentences just makes me feel so unproductive. And of course it’s worse if I’ve had a bad week—the updates are just discouraging for me.

So. I tried a new system, it didn’t work, and we’re back to Patreon not being a thing that works for me. I’ll keep thinking about it, and your thoughts are welcome as well. In the meantime, check out my website—I’ve got a few short stories and poems up there that you may not have seen yet.

www.jennyprater.com

https://www.patreon.com/posts/30556545