Bearskin

 This is a weird one. It’s kind of Beauty and the Beast vibes, but technically the dude isn't under a spell? Also there’s a deal with the devil.

We start with a young soldier, who has nothing to do and nowhere to go when the war is over. He asks his brothers for help, but they refuse, so he sets off into the woods with nothing but his gun and the clothes on his back.

There he meets a strange man with a green jacket and horse hooves for feet.

This man offers him as much money and property as he can possibly desire, as long as he proves himself brave—which he immediately does by shooting a bear that runs out to attack him—and promises not to wash himself, comb his hair, cut his nails, or say the Lord’s prayer for the next seven years. He must also wear a jacket and cloak the man gives him for this time.

Our soldier is a sensible young man, who realizes he’s speaking with the devil, and so he agrees to these conditions as long as they won’t cost him his salvation. The devil says that if the soldier dies during the seven years, he’ll take his soul, but if he lives, his soul remains his own, and he will be rich and free for the rest of his life.

He agrees.

The devil gives the soldier his green jacket, which contains bottomless pockets of money. Then he skins the bear, and gives the soldier the bearskin as a cloak. He says the soldier should sleep on the bearskin, and not use any other bed.

From this point on, we’ll be calling our soldier Bearskin, because that’s what the story calls him.

The first year or so goes pretty well, but as time passes, he gets to be seriously gross. With his long, long fingernails (you’d think they’d break, eventually), his nasty, matted hair and beard, and his unwashed skin, he looks like a monster. But he’s filthy rich, so there’s that.

In his fourth year as Bearskin, he meets a crying man at an inn, who explains, when asked, that he is extremely broke, likely bound for prison since he can’t pay for his room at the inn, and has three daughters to care for.

Bearskin is a cool dude, so he gives the man a whole bunch of money. The man is overjoyed, and invites Bearskin home to meet his daughters, and marry one of them.

The older two daughters are disgusted by him, but the youngest agrees to marry him, reasoning that he must be a good man to have helped them, even if he looks gross.

Bearskin takes a ring off his finger, breaks it in half, writes his name inside one half, and writes her name in the other. And I have many questions about the logistics, here. What is this ring made of?

He gives his bride-to-be the half with his name, and keeps the other. He explains that he must wander for three more years, and if he doesn’t come back in that time she is free, but if he does come back they’ll be married.

The older sisters are really mean about it, but the youngest keeps her promise and waits for her nasty future husband.

Bearskin, in the meantime, travels the world and uses his bottomless pockets to help people in need. When the seven years are up, he returns to the place where he met the devil.

The devil isn't happy to find him still alive, which, like, dude. Take some initiative. There’s no evidence you’ve tried to kill him. We’ve got a young, healthy man who’s proven himself to be a brave and dangerous soldier; did you really think he was just going to keel over all on his own, and the soul would be yours?

Maybe he thought the bad hygiene would get him. It’s gotta put you more at risk for disease.

He removes the bearskin, bathes, shaves, brushes his hair, and cuts his nails. He returns to his fiancée’s home, where no one recognizes him.

He reveals himself. He kisses the youngest daughter. Her sisters are so upset by this turn of events that one drowns herself and the other hangs herself, which seem like major overreactions. The devil takes their souls, and therefore feels he came out pretty well in this deal, after all.

Bearskin and the youngest daughter live happily ever after.

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